Mai Yoru Mata Kimi wo Shinjiteru
by Nisey
Summary: Shounen-ai, Inui x Kaidou. Kaidou writes...poetry! XD Inui's beloved notebook falls into the wrong hands and brings about interesting events. A little bad language (like, one word).


Mai Yoru Mata Kimi wo Shinjiteru  
"Every Night I Believe in You Again"  
By Nisey

The sun said its farewells for the night and slowly yet quickly crept down behind the dark jade trees, casting, a little ways away, a single black shadow running silently along the sidewalk that circled around past the Seishun Gakuen middle school campus. The only things audible among the rustling of the trees blowing in the wind were the soft breaths and occasional hiss of the shadow's caster as he ran along the fiery horizon at a steady pace.

Upon reaching a corner a ways past the school campus that overlooked a nearby neighborhood, Kaidou paused for a break, hands resting on his knees as he bent over to better catch his breath, his ever-present towel draped over his shoulders hanging suspended in the air. Once able to breathe normally, he stood erect again and, as was habit, grasped both ends of the towel and adjusted it until they were even after looping around the back of his neck. He hissed again and turned his head to look at the steadily dropping sunlight as its source stole away into the darkness.

"…Kokoro wa, samishii hi no you ni, mai yoru mata shinderu, kimi no koto kara," he lightly uttered under his breath, and then paused. "…Fushu…"

* * *

"Good work everyone!" Oishi's voice could be heard saying, ringing out over the sound of general conversation as tennis club practice for that day came to a close. A replying hail of "Good work!"s scattered through the clean, fresh air and, almost like an unwritten Japanese contract, practice officially ended for the day. Kaidou finished changing out of his practice clothes, slipped on his Seigaku regulars jacket and slung his racket bag over his shoulder, and quietly exited the club room, eyes closed in a look of universal disdain, which was his usual disposition, it seemed.

Upon leaving the room, he glanced over in passing towards a group of trees that grew neatly in a clump near the practice courts and saw something out of place that caught his eye. In pausing for a moment and studying it, he noticed that it was a lone green notebook that looked unsurprisingly familiar. However, there was no senpai with glasses and untiring pen with it as was custom. Curious as to how Inui-senpai could have possibly left his precious notebook behind and forgotten it among the grass, Kaidou strolled casually over to the lost collection of paper, leaned down, and picked it up off the ground. After looking over both shoulders and checking his immediate vicinity, he found Inui to be nowhere in sight.

Stuffing the notebook into the inner pocket of his jacket, Kaidou took off at a trot to find either his senpai or another who knew his whereabouts. Running into Kikumaru first, he slowed to a stop next to him and asked, "Kikumaru-senpai, do you know where Inui-senpai went? Has he left already?"

Kikumaru tilted his head in curiosity and paused to think. "Inui? He left about ten minutes ago. Why do you ask?"

Kaidou cleared his throat in disappointment and looked away from the interested Kikumaru. "It's not important. I was just wondering," he grunted, and walked away, a little less hurriedly than before. Kikumaru observed him as he walked away, still slightly confused and curious about Kaidou's question.

"Why was Kaidou asking about Inui, I wonder…?" and, after not finding an answer, dismissed the idea with a chuckle and searched for Oishi so that the two could go home together as they often did.

----------

Poetry, huh? It wasn't like it was anything new to Kaidou. He had discovered that he kind of enjoyed it back in grade school, and would write it here and there on random scraps of paper when inspiration found it fit to strike him. Most of it he didn't write down now, but kept to himself in the confines of his skull. He would occasionally say it out loud when he was alone, but outside of that, no one knew that he had any sort of knack for it whatsoever.

It wasn't entirely that often that Kaidou was struck with any inspiration at all either. But as he walked himself home from school that day as he did every day, fate suddenly saw it fit to hit him square in the forehead with a large sack of insight bricks, and he rapidly found himself with an almost painfully urgent need to write the thoughts and ideas flowing into his head. He searched himself frantically for the proper materials, felt the solid form of the notebook in his coat pocket, and recklessly yanked it out. He magically found a pen, flopped down on the grass next to the sidewalk he had stood on moments before, and started writing madly on the back page of Inui's notebook.

A bit of time passed, and Kaidou let out a much-needed sigh of relief and put the tools away back in his conveniently placed coat pocket. He stood and turned to continue to walk home, and then stopped. His look of relief slowly changed to that of shocked horror as he realized that he had just written a poem in _Inui's _notebook in _pen_. And while that probably wasn't that bad, what was worse was that it was a poem in passing about Inui. His hand dove back into the pocket and ripped the notebook out, and he opened the cover to the back page with trembling hands. Several unmentionable words floated through his mind and he grabbed the page in an attempt to tear it out of the book.

After a short, abrupt "rip", Kaidou looked down and saw that instead of tearing the page out, he had torn about halfway through the piece of paper—and halfway through his poem too. He whispered an obscenity to himself, smoothed the paper back out, and closed the book again, hastily stuffing it back into his jacket. With a final curse word or two to himself, he ran the rest of the way home, furious with himself.

----------

The sun set once again. On his way up the stairs to his dimly lit room, Inui glanced out a nearby, somewhat dusty window and thought to himself, "Another amazing sunset again tonight, huh. It makes me want to analyze today's data even more than before." With a very Inui-like grim, he sped off to his room with newfound fervor and plopped himself down in his chair always kept in close proximity to the computer sitting on his desk that he loved so dearly.

However, as Inui extended an arm out to grab his notebook and input today's novel findings, his hand swatted at thin air and he realized with a start that it wasn't there. Furrowing his brow in confusion, he searched all around—under his desk, behind the monitor, in his coat and racket bag pockets—only to find that his precious notebook was nowhere in sight.

Not known to panic, he glanced around again, paused, and let out a sigh that contained hints of worried frustration.

"Okashii na…" he said to himself. "I've never misplaced it before. Where did I last have it…?" Leaning back in his chair, the usual glint in his glasses fading them back to clear glass, he closed his eyes and thought about where he last remembered having it, retracing his steps from the day in his mind. After a pregnant pause, the faint image of a familiar green notebook laying among even greener grass next to Inui's favorite clump of trees came into view, and he let out an "Aha!" and opened his eyes.

"So that's where I left it," he muttered to himself. "It's far too late to go and get it tonight…hmm…this is a problem. And there's a 63 chance that someone picked it up…the probability of…" He began to whisper probabilities and calculations to himself about the odds of the person who may or may not have picked it up being the kind of person who would attempt to return it to its owner.

"So then thirty-two…and five…ohhh, I wish I could be writing this down!" He reached up with one hand and massaged his temples. "Calm down Sadaharu…you'll just have to deal with it tonight and hopefully your data won't lie." With a disillusioned sigh, he placed fingers to keyboard and input what he could remember off of the top of his head, making note to proofread it when he got his notebook back.

----------

Kaidou lay on one side on his futon which was spread out on his floor, the place that he preferred to sleep, with one arm extended, staring at his upturned palm as he slowly flexed his fingers to a fist and back to relaxed again. As he lay there nearly motionless, he thought to himself, "Well, now what do I do…? I can't rip the page out the rest of the way without tearing through my poem. And besides, if I tear the page out, it'll be obvious that someone used the notebook while it was out of Inui-senpai's hands, and he'll probably get upset. Although no more upset than he'd be finding a random piece-of-crap poem in it…"

"…"

He paused in his train of thought, and had a sudden epiphany. "Wait a second," he thought. "To him, it _would_ be a random piece of poetry. If I return it anonymously, he'd never know that I wrote it. Either way, he's going to know that someone used it, but at least if it stays in there, it won't be as bothersome as wondering what it was used for." He considered this idea, then sighed. "Yeah right. What am I trying to do? He's going to be upset no matter what. You're such an idiot, Kaoru." And with that thought, he rolled over and stuffed his face in his pillow.

After a long enough period of this that breathing became difficult, he rolled over again onto his back, laying sprawled out on the futon. He stared at the ceiling for a moment, then said aloud: "I may as well. It's the best of the options I have available." It was almost as if he _wanted_ Inui to read the poem, but he refused to admit that to himself. He sat up, hissed, and then reached over and grabbed the notebook from where it had been laying next to him. "I should at least tape up the tear, too."

* * *

"Senpai, watch out!" Momo shouted. Inui, who had been practicing in a bit of a daze all afternoon, looked up just in time to dodge a Jack Knife shot from today's practice partner. The ball grazed past his ear and lodged itself in the chain-link fence behind him.

"Are you okay today, Inui-senpai? Do you need to take a break?" Momo asked as he walked up to his side of the net, tennis racket hanging down at his side. Inui stood for a moment, scratching the back of his head.

"Actually, I think I _will_ take that break now," he said a little distractedly and walked towards the club room to rest.

In all actuality, Inui had had trouble sleeping the night before. Inputting data was sort of a stress relief for him, and doing so helped him unwind from the day and relax so that he could get to sleep. Being unable to do so, Inui was in fits all night and unable to get more than just a few hours in before morning. He had been walking around school all day in a half-conscious state from lack of rest, and practice was nearly impossible today. He dragged himself into the clubroom and sat down on the bench by the room window with a "thump", leaning against the wall with his eyes half open.

"Maybe I should try and nap for a few minutes," he thought to himself. "Even just a little sleep might make me feel better." Considering this, he nodded to himself in affirmation, stood up, and went to go get his regulars jacket to cover himself with on the bench. In the process of lifting the jacket out of its usual place, something fell out of it and onto the floor with a fluttering of paper. After a moment, Inui looked down at the floor dumbly only to find a certain green notebook laying on the club room floor. His half-dead look changed and his face lit up as he noticed it; he swooped down and picked it up to cuddle it lovingly.

Anxious to reacquaint himself, Inui flipped carefully through the pages, disregarding that half of them were still blank, thank goodness. Just as he went to close the book after skimming through pages of white, something caught his eye and he opened it up to the last page. Not counting the fact that the page had been partially torn and taped back together, half of the piece of paper was covered with hurried, scrawled handwriting which was obviously not his own. He blinked in confusion, and then examined the black marks more closely. The lines and squiggles began to take form and wrote out a complete piece of poetry:

_So many times  
__I die  
__Only to revive in a blinding wave  
__Of color, of passionate pain every sunrise._

_I blame you  
__For this confusion,  
__These emotions that could only be  
__That of passion unbridled,  
__A snowballing desire  
__That crushes me with its weight  
__Carried on my shoulders through the day._

_And as I lay down to die  
__Shivering, freezing from the weight of this feeling,  
__You pass into my thoughts,  
__My very being_

_And for a brief moment—  
__Agonizing bliss—  
__I take my dying breath  
__With the peaceful image of  
__Your gentle face,  
__Your calloused hands  
__And the faint scent of glass  
__That frames my soul._

* * *

Already, three days had passed since Kaidou had secretly tucked the lost notebook under Inui's jacket and left with gnawing sensations of relief and regret, dragging his feet the rest of the afternoon. 

----------

Inui had to have read the poem twenty times by now. By the second or third time through, he began to suspect that the poem was written about him, and, high on the concept of this idea, had convinced himself by the tenth that it surely was. It was an interesting piece, and he could tell that all of the writer's emotion had gone into it. But he could also tell that it was amateur writing, so he deduced that someone in the school must have written it—a student.

But who? Without any more clues than that, he had no way of analyzing the data well enough to know. And it was a constant itch in the back of his mind. He was determined to find the owner of this glass slipper at any cost. Every time it crossed his thoughts he pulled the notebook back out and reread that last page. _But who could it be?_

* * *

Kaidou had already mostly forgotten about it. It had only been a week, but it had been a busy one at that. And even if he hadn't forgotten, he at least hadn't thought about it for days.

He was more worried about the history test he had failed. For several days afterwards, Kaidou couldn't think. His brain had been a fuzzy, tangled mess of worry and intangible thoughts, and he couldn't focus well enough to walk safely, let alone study for a history test. Oishi had even given him a few days off of club until he could concentrate again, lest he risk injury from someone during practice (the name "Momoshirou" crossed his mind). "There must be something going around. Everyone seems to be out of whack this week," Oishi had thought to himself then.

Approximately twenty-four hours after taking the test, Kaidou's mind unclouded. And just in time too, because he was assigned a large English project that was due the following Monday. English was not his strong point, so it was almost as if the advent of this project jerked him sharply back to reality. He wasn't particularly pleased about it either.

----------

Another tennis club practice ended. Kaidou had tried to convince Oishi that he was fine, but Oishi wasn't quite persuaded and insisted that he sit out one more practice. "You practice at least twice as hard as the others, so one more day won't hurt. Just make sure you come back tomorrow in top shape, ready to work hard." So Kaidou took this "opportunity" to look over his failed test paper and sigh a little dejectedly.

Various members of the club came and went, in and back out the door as they changed back out and went home. Inui found himself to be the last one to amble into the club room to stumble upon no one but a still-silent Kaidou, his back hunched over as he sat on the bench beneath the window, still staring at his test paper. Faintly curious, he leaned over his kouhai's shoulder and glanced at what he was gazing at. It was indeed a previous test, and one with a poor grade at that. After seeing this and understanding why Kaidou was so disheartened, he looked a little closer at the paper.

And he recognized the handwriting.

It was the same chicken scratch he had read over and over again so many times. The same slurred "ki"s and "sa"s, the same barely discernable "fu"s, and the same tenten that connected together from being written so fast. The writing on the test was a little neater than he was used to seeing it, but it was the same nonetheless.

It was the same as the poem in the back of his notebook.

Inui stood, stunned for a moment, as he thought about this concept that he had just deduced. Kaidou wrote that poem? _Kaidou wrote it?_ This same, distempered, gruff 2nd year who didn't seem to have a creative bone in his body? Had he been alone, he thought he might have slapped himself.

Then he paused to think again. Not only did little Kaidou commit an act so out of his character, but the poem was about Inui. And, if Inui wasn't mistaken, it was a poem about tortured feelings of love, or at least basic attraction. Inui was afraid to jump to conclusions, but he was so convinced of this after reading the poem so many times that he couldn't persuade himself any other way.

It was then that Kaidou noticed the presence of someone behind him and turned to find his senpai standing over him (towering, rather), stunned speechless. Even through the glint on his glasses from the light streaming through the window, he could tell that Inui was shocked by something—enough to freeze him in his place. Tracing the direction of his gaze, Kaidou followed it to his test paper resting limply in his hands. It took him a moment, but Kaidou eventually put two and two together.

"…K-Kaidou…um," Inui finally managed to stutter out.

Kaidou blushed and quickly stuffed the paper back into his bag. "I-I-Inui-senpai, um…err…that is, uh…what I mean…" Kaidou had let his guard down. In one fell swoop, he had messed everything up.

A good thirty seconds of awkward silence fell between the two of them. Kaidou grew steadily angrier at himself with every second, his face reddening deeper with both embarrassment and frustration. Inui finally managed to find control of his jaw again and spoke softly and slowly.

"So…that was you, Kaidou…? You were the one who…?" Inui's voice tapered off into nothing before he could finish his question.

"…I, uh…" Kaidou swallowed some saliva that had collected in his throat and continued. "…I was hoping you wouldn't find out. No one knows about that hobby, and that day it was just something spur-of-the-moment that I had to get out, otherwise I felt like I was going to burst…I tried to rip it out, but figured it'd seem even more suspicious…I…I don't even really know what I was thinking anymore…" Tears of guilt gathered in his throat, but he held them back. _Why do I have to be so fucking stupid…?_ Kaidou thought to himself.

"I…" Inui closed his mouth and exhaled in thought, scratching the back of his head. "It's a…a beautiful poem…Kaidou…I…never expected you to d-do that kind of thing…" He paused. "But, uh…about that…about what you were…w-writing about…um…was that about…uhh…"

Kaidou took a deep breath, clenched his eyes shut, and exhaled heavily. "Y…" He closed his eyes tighter and lowered his head a bit. "…Yes…It is."

Inui's eyes widened slightly at this. He had suspected it, of course, but his to hear its writer admit it…it was different. "…And is that how…you…?" Kaidou lowered his head further in what Inui could only interpret as a nod.

Suddenly, Kaidou found his voice and, head still lowered and eyes still tightly shut, stammered out at a fast pace, "Th-they were just random thoughts…feelings I had that day…I tried not to think anything of them—I figured it was nothing and it would pass. But…after I wrote that poem…after I returned the notebook…I couldn't stop thinking about it, and…and…I started to think that maybe I had feelings for you or something like that…I-I don't even really know now, and I was scared, and…" Kaidou's voice left him as he fought harder to hold back his frustrated tears that now stung in the corners of his eyes. Inui's head was swimming from all of this, but he forced it back and lowered himself to his knees next to Kaidou who was now facing him at eye-level.

"Kaidou…shh…shh, it's okay. Everything's alright…" he said in a soft voice, attempting to calm Kaidou who seemed to be on the edge of bursting. He was met, however, with two firm hands shoving him away with enough force to knock him backwards.

"Stay away from me!" Kaidou shouted, now sounding very unstable. Abruptly, soothing warmth pressed against his body and two arms wrapped themselves around him as Inui embraced Kaidou in a strong, comforting hug. Kaidou, too stunned to do anything else, opened his eyes and blinked for a moment, slightly bewildered.

"It's okay, Kaidou…you don't have to suffer anymore…Everything's alright," Inui said calmingly, blushing a bit from his own actions. He stroked Kaidou's back and felt the 2nd year's body relax as he calmed down. "That's better…everything's okay…"

"S…Senpai…" Kaidou pulled himself away a little bit, just enough so that he could look Inui in the eyes. _He really does have beautiful eyes_, Kaidou thought.

"Kaidou…" Inui said softly as he slowly leaned closer. Kaidou closed his eyes. Their faces drew close to each other—Inui could feel the heat from Kaidou's lips as they were so close that they could almost touch…

Inui jerked himself away and turned from Kaidou, his face red with embarrassment. "G-Gomen…I…I got carried away…" he stuttered.

Kaidou wasn't quite sure how to react to all of this. "Senpai…do you…l-like me…?"

"…I've never really consulted my feelings. The poem you wrote in my notebook had me entranced. The thought that someone cared for me…pined for me…I was so high on the idea…like a glass slipper, I _had_ to know who wrote it. I never suspected that it would be you…but…" Kaidou sort of tilted his head in curiosity, waiting patiently for Inui continue if he could.

"But…now that I know…" His voice lowered to almost a whisper, "I think I finally see it. The fact that I was so intent on helping you perfect the Boomerang Snake…that I keep wanting to play doubles with you…that I keep wanting to help you train…that I keep wanting to see you…I…I _am_ attracted to you, Kaidou."

Kaidou felt the tears that had temporarily receded coming back with a vengeance. He shut his eyes tight again to fight them back. "…Y…yokatta…"

"Hm…?" Inui, afraid that Kaidou would get upset again, placed a hand on the 2nd year's knee.

"I…I thought I was the only one…" he forced out through gritted teeth as the tears began to tumble down his cheeks. "I'm so glad…"

Despite Kaidou's tears, Inui couldn't help but smile. Reaching up with both hands, he cupped Kaidou's face in his hands, using his thumbs to wipe away the tears. "Shh…don't cry." Tilting his kouhai's chin up slightly, Inui leaned in again and placed a sweet, gentle kiss on his lips. It wasn't long, but it served its purpose. Kaidou let out a little moan as Inui drew away and took his hands off of his face.

"…Senpai…I—" Inui put a finger to his lips before he could continue, giving him a cute smile. He already knew everything Kaidou was going to say anyway.

"I think I like you too, Kaidou-kun," Inui said in his place, blushing a little. Kaidou paused, admiring Inui at this statement, then sort of shook his head and rubbed his eyes on his forearm to make it a little less damp.

"Inui-senpai…"

The club room door, which had been closed until now, opened. The click of the door latch startled the both of them so much that Inui fell back to the floor, clutching it behind him for dear life. Kaidou's head flew backwards and smacked against the windowsill, causing him to fall back on the bench into an awkward position in which he was half propped against the wall with his back and half on the bench.

A confused Oishi looked at them as the two laid/sat there, sweating and breathing heavily from the adrenaline after being so violently shaken out of their own little world. "A…are you guys…okay?" he said, astounded.

Kaidou sat in his bizarre pose for a moment, then exhaled loudly and knocked the bench the rest of the way forwards, slumping down to the floor against the wall. Inui forced himself up to a sitting position and adjusted his glasses.

"O-of course. There's no problem. Did you need something, Oishi?" Inui said, his voice a little shaky.

Oishi walked over to the back-left corner of the room and picked something up off of the floor. "I just forgot my roll of grip tape on my way out." After looking at them a little longer, he asked, "…Are you guys _sure_ you're okay? What were you doing?"

Kaidou stopped rubbing the steadily growing lump on the back of his head as his heart leapt to his throat. Inui stood, brushed himself off, and calmly said, "I was just looking Kaidou over to make sure he was okay to go back to practice tomorrow. You startled us was all. We talked about a few things, and he seems better. I think he's just fine now."

Oishi smiled at them. "Oh, good. I'm glad that you've got things back in order, Kaidou." He stopped at the door, turned, and said, "See you guys tomorrow. Good work today Inui." And with that, he closed the door behind him.

Kaidou's entire body relaxed with relief. "That was _SCARY_…" Inui helped Kaidou up to his feet. Once standing again, Kaidou looked up and their eyes met. They looked at each other for a moment, and then both of them burst out laughing. Inui put his hands on Kaidou's shoulders to steady himself as he laughed, and Kaidou leaned forward and put his head against Inui's chest as he shook with laughter. When they finally settled down, neither decided that they wanted to move.

After a few moments, Kaidou finally spoke. "…You never got to shower and change, did you?" Inui looked down at him curiously.

"Hm?"

Kaidou blushed a little and chuckled, his forehead still resting on Inui's chest. "You smell like sweat."

Inui grinned. "Gee, _that's_ romantic, Kaidou," he said sarcastically and hugged him close.

_END_

**Author's Note**: Wow…my first fanfic in about three years. Fear me! Actually, this is the first real fanfic I've done that wasn't self-insert. I never used to be much of a shounen-ai/yaoi fan…I blame Kaser for this one. But damn is this fun. Doujinshi is more my thing, honestly (I have my own webcomic too—I'll link to any doujinshi that I draw in my profile page), but fanfiction can be sickeningly fun. We'll have to see where I go from here.

So yeah, I know what you guys are thinking right now—WEAK! Yeah, I know. This actually isn't really my style…I'm one of those weirdos who prefers the more sadistic, "sex and then love" style, but these two were just too cute to do that to them. I'm saving that for a doujinshi anyway, because I have a much easier time drawing that kind of stuff than I do explaining it in words. See you all next fic!

**Japanese Notes and Translations:**

(Note: These were put in the original text as footnotes, but you'll have to make due.)

_Kokoro wa, samishii hi no you ni, mai yoru mata shinderu, kimi no koto kara. -- _My heart, like the lonely sun, dies again every night because of you.

_Okashii na…--_ That's strange, huh…

_The poem_-- For the reader's convenience, the poem has been written in English. For story purposes, keep in mind that it is actually in Japanese. I just figured you'd appreciate having it that way already instead of having a mile-long footnote translation for it.

_The same slurred "ki"s and "sa"s…--_ Remember when I said that the poem was still in Japanese, even though I wrote it in English? For those of you with little to no Japanese knowledge, Inui is talking about the hiragana writing system here, the most basic and important one. Ki き and Sa さ usually have gaps in them when written with pencil, Fu ふis a unique character that can be skewed easily when written fast, and Tenten are the two little lines one puts on the upper right corner of a hiragana or katakana character to change its pronunciation slightly (ie. Ki き to Gi ぎ, Sa さ to Za ざ).

_G-Gomen…_-- S-Sorry… (Although I'd bet you probably already knew that one.)

_Y…yokatta…--_ I'm relieved/glad…


End file.
